Casual dating, explained

What Is Casual Dating? Fun and Chemistry, Kept Light

The plain meaning, the close cousins it gets confused with, and how to tell if it suits you.

Casual dating means enjoying someone without planning a future

Casual dating is seeing someone, or a few people, because you enjoy their company and fancy them, with no expectation of commitment. You might go for drinks, sleep together, or both. What makes it casual is the shared understanding that neither of you is working towards moving in, meeting the parents or being exclusive.

That understanding is the whole point. Two adults agree to keep things light, and the relief of not auditioning for a long-term role often makes the time together, in bed and out of it, more relaxed and more fun. In the UK the phrase gets used loosely, so it helps to know where it ends and its neighbours begin.

How is casual dating different from a hook-up, a situationship or a relationship?

These labels overlap, and people use them differently. Here's how most UK daters would draw the lines.

Casual dating: Repeat dates with someone you like and are attracted to, no commitment, often with more than one person on the go. There's usually some flirting, conversation and going out, not only time in bed.
Hook-up: A one-off or very occasional sexual meet. Less about getting to know each other, more about the moment. Our page on casual encounters covers this end of things.
Regular arrangement: One person you see for sex and company on a regular basis, with no romance expected. It's casual dating with a routine, and it works best when you've agreed how often you meet and whether either of you sees anyone else.
Situationship: Something that drifted past casual without anyone saying what it is: you're sleeping together and texting every day, but nobody has named it. Casual dating is the opposite, because you've both said out loud that it's casual.
No strings: A broad phrase for any arrangement without obligations. It often means casual sex specifically. See no-strings dating.
Relationship: Commitment, exclusivity by default and plans that stretch past next weekend. Casual dating sometimes turns into one, but that's a bonus, never the brief.

What does casually dating look like in the UK?

In practice it tends to be unshowy. A drink after work in a pub you both like, a late dinner, a night at one of your places, then a week or two of messages before you see each other again. Plenty of people date casually around busy lives: shift work, children every other weekend, a career that eats evenings, or simply having come out of something long and not wanting another one yet.

On Casual.uk's main site most members are between 25 and 54 and nearly all live in the UK. London has the most by a distance, and there are members from Devon to Aberdeen, so casual dating here is as much a Tuesday in Derby as a Saturday in London. You can see who's local on our casual dating near me page.

Is it for you?

Who does casual dating suit best?

It's a good fit when you can honestly say yes to most of these.

You want closeness, not a project

You like company, touch, good sex and good conversation, and you're not looking for someone to share a mortgage with right now.

You can say what you want plainly

Casual only stays kind when both sides are upfront. If that conversation feels impossible, read our guide on how to ask for something casual first.

You're comfortable with no promises

The other person may see others, and may drift off one day. If that would sting badly, a slower kind of dating may make you happier.

Where do people find casual dates?

Some meet through friends or on nights out, but online is where intentions are easiest to read. On a casual dating site, wanting something light is the starting point, which removes the most awkward conversation in dating. Casual.uk is free to join, matches you daily on distance, age, interests and what you're looking for, and lets you warm up in the members' feed before you send a message. If you want a crowd with a particular flavour, there are sections for over-40s, raunchier fun and more.

Comparing options? Our guide to casual dating sites in the UK lines them all up in one table.

Casual dating, answered straight

Does casual dating mean sex?

Often, but not always. Some casual daters mostly want drinks and flirting, others want a regular sexual partner. The only rule is that both people agree on what it is.

Can you date more than one person casually?

Yes. Non-exclusivity is normal in casual dating, though it's good manners, and good sexual health, to be honest about it if asked.

How long does casual dating last?

There's no set length. Some arrangements last a few dates, some run happily for years. It lasts as long as both people are still enjoying it.

Can casual dating turn into a relationship?

It can, and sometimes does. If your feelings change, say so kindly and let the other person answer freely. Just don't start something casual secretly hoping to change their mind.

More ways to enjoy dating casually

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